User blog:BlueFrackle/Fanmade: Alan Turing vs. Rotwang
This is one of my favorite ideas for a battle! Computer science pioneer, cryptographer, father of artificial intelligence and creator of the Turing test - Alan Turing - raps against the mad scientist from the classic film Metropolis - C. A. Rotwang - and his creation, the robot that assumed the identity of Maria. Connection: one theorized a machine that could pass as human; the other built one. One is well known for fighting against the Germans; the other is German. Both are the man their governments came to when they needed a hard problem solved. Both are early giants of A.I. development from a time nobody knew what A.I. was. Who's going to win this? Cast as I've imagined: *EpicLLOYD as Alan Turing *Nice Peter as C. A. Rotwang *Lauren Flans as the Human Machine, a.k.a. "Maria" Alan Turing's location is Bletchley Park. Rotwang and his Machine's location is Rotwang's laboratory. Note that the Machine appears in Maria's form at first, but shifts to her actual robot form after Turing deduces her real nature. Battle FANMADE RAP BATTLES OF WHATEVER!!! ALAN TURING VS. C. A. ROTWANG!!! BEGIN! Rotwang: Decipher this, you stuttering Snow White How can you beat the man who made the underground rise? I choke a hacker wannabe with my mechanical hand! The whole city's my bitch, all goes along with my plan You're dismissed; I'll put the last nail in your coffin I'm a gifted inventor, you accomplished nothing! Your work's theoretical, your machine hypothetical Here's a suicide technique: shove that apple up your rectum! Alan Turing: I'm about to gift the world with yet another breakthrough I'll cut this battle short like I did World War II There I broke German codes, now to break a German poser You'll find this ACE rapper's also a first rate decoder With these theatrical gestures it looks like you're having spasms Let a cryptanalyst dig your crypt like a chasm You lost your girl to a douche, and then she died, how sad But it's no reason to freak out and go completely mad! Joh's right: a brain like yours should be able to forget it But since your author was a Nazi, madness is to be expected Rotwang and the Machine: Nobody likes you Alan, it's time to pedal away Your own bride was unfazed when she found that you're gay! You don't deserve to be pardoned for your hideous rap crimes Your team's screwed! Churchill won't help you this time! This little bitch thinks he can win? I just laugh at the idea To silence him I'll pass the mic to my girl Maria! Oh, God, this conflict needs a mediator Let me assume the Helm, then, my speech skills are greater When I spark a new revolt you'll be left disabled Prepare to be knocked down like the tower of Babel You'll need no more estrogen when I tear off your balls I'll fry out all your circuits, bring a rap overhaul Alan Turing: My intuition and ingenuity win lyrical marathons You two should seek shelter when I start dropping rap bombes Biology to logic; school you in any field I'm teaching! My skill's universal and my flow's got algo-rhythm! I can see Maria's a robot, it’s fairly easy to guess You'll have to do so much better if you want to pass my test! Rotwang and the Machine: (The Machine shifts to her real form) You're right, I'm a mechanical automaton But to think you can beat me or my creator is wrong, son No pollen here, but you're still going to need your mask Cause our flow's sicker than your hay fever, you won't last! We pour rhymes like a flood, wrecking your entire city We'll break this codebreaker, and show him no pity! You're a failure just like your chess program, don't revel! 'Cause you're on our streets, but can't rise to our level Alan Turing: I'll burn this Parody at the stake! You two are no Enigma You're just a cheap rerun of Spalanzani and Olympia! C. A. Rottweiler here is all bark and no bite Making dolls in his basement, he's too afraid to fight! The imitation game is now set up, it seems I'm the man, you're the girl, C-3P-hoe here's the machine! WHO WON?! YOU DECIDE!!! FANMADE RAP BATTLES OF WHATEVER!!! Cover Category:Blog posts